ME...Thats right, it's me...I know that some of you believe me to be an older(ish), slightly out of shape(ish), carrier of the Y chromosome...and that may be true...but mentally...I'm his special woman...what, does this sound like another one of my blatant appeals for attention...what? It does?...Am I that transparent?..Maybe that's why Jongie(I bet we'd have pet names for each other) hasn't responded to any of the hundreds of mental emails I've been sending his way...what, you mean to say that you don't have one of those new UBM(utterly brilliant machines) Computers that features the 'mental matrix' computing chip?...man, mine is so sweet!...The company sent it to me almost three days ago in a dream...not only can it do anything that any computer currently on the market can do...it also allows you to see anybody...nekkid...and you can watch episodes of your favorite TV show...even if most of the norms in the world can't...that's right, I'm still watching Chuck...and Life...and Pushing Daisies...and Wonderfalls...and Eli Stone...and, well that's enough for now.
Anyway, back to Jongster and I...it's wonderful...being heterosexual, I was worried that being the 'Mystery woman' might prove to be problematic but thanks to the computer, I know that my future life partner is hetero as well and we'll simply be 'friends'...and I'm alright with that...or, at least I will be once he gets over that whole 'My dad was a loonie but at least I'm letting my subjects watch Mickey Mouse and Winnie The Pooh" thing...I can't wait...we'll hit all the coolest bars and drink Jager while we watch the world revel in our unbelievably cool, platonic friendship...we'll be an inspiration to the world...they'll write songs about us and maybe we'll even start our own religion...yeah, we will...and everyone can join and be friends and do cool stuff...like be nice to their fellow man(and woman)...wouldn't that be swell?...don't delay...don't miss out...use your UBM Computer and send us a mental email...or, if you haven't gotten your new computer yet, just send me a regular email and I'll forward it to Jong-a-long-a-ding-dong...he'd love to hear from you...and then, afterwards, why not say hello to someone new and tell them the story of KJU's mystery lady and watch as they react with amazement and envy...because they didn't hear about it before you...call your family and tell them as well...I'm sure they'd love t hear from you but make sure that you wait until it's 3Am...where ever they are...that's the best time to call so they'll be fresh and oh so willing to hear the story...I'm gonna do the same...can't wait!
Holy Crap...another overly long ramble that has absolutlely no value!...well, it's what I do...and if you're reading this...well, maybe the world isn't such a bad place afterall...and if you smiled, even once, then I've done my job...well, not my job...because you get paid at your job...and I'm not getting paid for this...although, if someone actually wants to pay me for doing this...well, don't be a stranger...send me an email and lets get this whole 'writer' thing going...and on that note, I finsh anohter installment of JPONALI by saying goodnight...or good day...depending where or when you actually are reading this twaddle. JT
P.S. Ted is a blast and Amazing Spiderman is not...and for a nerd like me to bag a superhero movie? It's slick and all...don't get me wrong, on the 'scale'... it's no Green Latrine or Jonah Hoax...but it's no Mystery Men either. I'm just saying.
P.P.S. You've made it this far...why not leave a note...yeap, another cheap bid for attention...and your thoughts on my thoughts...
I see somebody found his ramblin' shoes. And quite possibly a whole case of Jaeger or a gigaton of pixie stix. I mean fantasies about Kim Jong Un? Really?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the smiles, but I think I'm going to have to disagree on Spiderman. While it certainly doesn't measure up to the Avengers and they're playing fast and loose with the origin story, it was a fun ride. As they say your mileage may vary. Can't bring myself to go see Ted, maybe on DVD.